Warning Warning Warning! INFRINGEMENT OF HUMAN RIGHTS!!!!
(a) Hairstyles and hair colors must be judged by a reasonable person standard (ultimately determined by the FSD) and present a neat, clean, professional appearance. Hair shall be kept clean and the style shall not present a ragged, unkempt, or extreme appearance.
(b) Hair length for male officers shall not extend below the bottom of the back collar. Hair retainers, e.g., hair clips, hair nets, or rubber bands, may not be used to meet this standard for male officers.
(c) Hair length for female officers shall not extend beyond 2 inches below the bottom of the back collar while on duty. Hair accessories used to pin up hair shall be concealed as much as possible and should not distract from the uniform.
Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, what? Thanks TSA, Can you guys be any more sexist? Maybe you could through in some racism there and require all black people to modify their speech and only talk about white music and events. What the fuck?
Here is the best part about this though. Since I am no longer to tie my hair up, my only options are:
A: Cut it all off to meet the standard.
B: Use copious amounts of gel so that it will stay up
C: Wear either a turban, a kufi, or a wig.
So after Sunday, guess who will be embracing the Islamic religion? Yep, me that's who. PRAISE ALLAH!
Seriously, is it really less offensive for me to wear a turban, in an airport... than for me to wear my hair up with an all black hair tie that is invisible? Really? Seriously?
So I guess I have to start embracing the Sikh religion. That's neat. I really like the fact that my employer is forcing me to expand my religious outlook on life. THANKS TSA, YOU'RE THE BEST!!!!
I will be contacting boatloads of people over this issue. If you have any suggestions please, feel free to let me know. Right now I will be contacting the EEOC which handles sexual discrimination claims along with Fox 2 problem solvers and anyone else I can think of.
You know what would be a real kicker? If I decided to change my name to conform to Islamic standards and chose the name Osama. Fun stuff.
P.S. Probably the most depressing thing about this so far was when I told my mom about it, a mom who has helped me fight the system since I was a kid, who was alive during the sixties, who used to be bad ass... the first thing she said was "Why don't you just cut it".
To quote Will Smith "Parents just don't understand."
P.P.S. PLEASE SUGGEST SOME COOL MUSLIM NAMES, I WANT MINE TO BE SWEET! So far I think Aknot is a pretty cool one since it's the name of the alien in fifth element.